Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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