This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
