please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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