Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
