No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
