I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
