so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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