I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
