Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
