Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
