im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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