Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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