As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
