You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
