Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
