why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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