It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
