lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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