We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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