Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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