My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
