i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
