dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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