he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
