so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
