so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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