Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
