I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
