I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
