i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
