Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
