Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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