There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
