im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
