pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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