My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
