i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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