How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
