I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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