i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!