I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
