they need to just BURY HIM!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
