okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
