i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
