ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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