update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
