i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
