I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
