apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize