clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
