My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
