the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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