Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
