well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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