The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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