it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
