Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
