Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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