whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
