he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
