i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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