Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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