Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
