don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
