I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
